Why is it that some people are good and others bad? Even in the same family we often see a stark difference between two siblings. One turns out good and the other bad. Is it simply a matter of two people making different choices, or is there more? Psychologists have come up with a theory called "relative deprivation" to try and explain these differences.
Making Choices - Photo: Stockxpert. All rights reserved.
"Psychologists uncovered a curious feature of military morale during World War II. Those in branches of the service handing out the most promotions complained the most about their rank. The investigators cited 'relative deprivation' as an explanation for the trend -- it's not what you have, but what you have compared with others in the same situation." (Science News, Dec. 7, 1991, Bruce Bower)
"Relative deprivation achieves a more profound influence through the daily battles and negotiations that constitute life in the nuclear family, maintain researchers in human behavioral genetics. Each child in a family harbors an exquisite sensitivity to his or her standing with parents, brothers and sisters, and thus essentially grows up in a unique psychological environment, according to these investigators. The result: Two children in the same family grow to differ from one another in attitudes, intelligence and personality as much as two youngsters randomly plucked from the population at large." (Science News, Dec. 7, 1991, Bruce Bower)
What researchers appear to be saying is that siblings are not the same because they each view their circumstances (even though they may be very similar) very differently. You may grow up with the same family and live in the same house as your brother or sister, but that doesn't mean you share their perceptions.
Case In Point
"Do not be like Cain who belonged to the Evil One and killed his brother. And why did he kill him? Because the things Cain did were evil, and the things his brother did were good" (1 John 3:11-12) New Century Version
Why were Cain and Able so different. They were raised by the same parents and undoubtedly taught the same things about God. Yet, one wanted to please God and went out of his way to follow His instructions, and the other had an independent streak that took him off in a different direction. Obviously, their personal perceptions of God were quite different.
Because perception is an individual process, people do assign different meanings to similar stimuli. And due to perception, people in similar circumstances do form different opinions. Cain's perception of God influenced his behavior toward Him. He didn't believe God meant what He said. Or, he believed God meant what He said, but somehow thought that his actions not only met God's requirements, but actually improved upon them.
Presently, our perceptions of God are being influenced by what we think about this story. Like fresh concrete drying in the warm sun, our conclusions are being solidified and set. Was God fair with Cain? Did God push Cain toward evil by rejecting His sacrifice? Or, did Cain ruin his life by allowing his perceptions of God to take him down roads that were forbidden for his own good? We cannot know for sure. But one thing we can know is that how we handle the questions that may arise from this story affects our perceptions of God--which ultimately moves us either closer to, or farther away, from Him.
Ultimately, the only control we have over whether we are good or bad is in our willingness to allow God to shape our perceptions. Thus, my prayer must always be, "Lord, please give me a new heart. Change it and make it new."
"And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart.." (Ezekiel 11:19) New Living Translation
By Rich DuBose, Director, Pacific Union Conference Church Support Services
